Detroit Visitor's Rules
These are excerpts from an email I got from Heather titled "Detroit Visitor's Rules." Oddly, they're completely true.
- You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit -NOT Dee-troit. If pronounced Dee-Troit then you must be from Toledo for the country Music hoe-down.
- Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Detroit - everyone drives like that.
- When asking for directions, all directions start with, "What do I look like - the fucking Triple A?"
- If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going. In doing this, you avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way and then again shot.
- Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.
- Construction and renovations on I-94, I-96, I-75 and 275 is a way of life and permanent form of entertainment (aim at the road crew).
- The wrought iron on windows in Detroit is NOT ornamental. DON'T get out of your car.
- Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading."
- You must go a quarter of a mile out of your way to make a left-hand turn.